Life update

The other day I had a thought, a rather significant one. It was just an ordinary day, I spent most of it at the library and in lectures, but as I was walking home from the tube I realised something: I’m happy here. Don’t get me wrong, I do sometimes feel homesick, I miss my mum and my friends, but I am much happier here, now, than I have been in quite a long time. It felt really good coming to this conclusion. I may have lost an iphone and a clump of my right eye eyelashes since I’ve been here, but I’ve got new friends, a gorgeous running route through Hyde Park, a possible crush, a renewed love for physics, an addiction to Boots/Superdrug and so much more…

At first it was hard to find a balance, I got so used to having a lot of free hours everyday to nap, read, cook etc, that I couldn’t handle a busy schedule… (which explains the lack of posts here) Now, I seem to have settled into a routine and most importantly I figured out how to read while standing in the tube, so hopefully November will be a much better month for reading.

Here’s a quote from the book I just finished, Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger, (review is coming, I promise) about London that I liked:

“How can you be bored? You live in London! You’re breathing the same air as the Queen and Vivienne Westwood!“

Changes…

Ok, so this turned out to be a very different post than the one I had in mind to write because the last couple of days have been surreal! Last year I was planning on attending grad school in the states. Then I wasn’t. Then I was again. Then random shitty things happened and I couldn’t. Then I cried. Then I gave up. Then I was going to study for a MSc at my university in Athens, even though I didn’t really want to. Then I thought I was too late for that. Then I had an inspired thought. Then, almost magically and very very fast, things happened. Then I hyperventilated.

Now, I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that in two days (!) I shall be flying to London and will be starting a masters in Theoretical Physics on Monday. Monday. As in three days from now. I’m feeling a panic attack approaching which would be very inconvenient since I don’t have time to waste. Remember on the Gilmore girls finale when Rory got that job following Obama on his campaign and she literary had three days to get ready? That’s exactly how things happened to me! Obviously I won’t be travelling around the country, but 24 hours ago I was playing The Sims 3 not knowing what was coming.

Of course I made a list, originally a foot long, but I really covered some ground today so tomorrow I basically have to pack (not a mean feat) and say goodbye to a few people. This may be silly, but among the myriads of concerns and worries I have for this new beginning is the fact that I won’t be taking any of my books with me. Obviously, clothes and shoes have priority and then if I have space I should probably pack some of my physics books. And so I will be really homeless, not only because I haven’t found a place to stay yet but because I won’t have that comforting feeling having my books around me offers…

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to let you guys know I won’t be posting much at least for the coming week. I have lots of book reviews to catch up on but I’m waiting for the amazon conduit to be fixed and then I’ll also have quite a lot to say for my new life, so, yeah, stay tuned!

What do you want?

That’s the question that totally freaked me out a few days ago. It seems like such a simple question, but is it really? I mean, I have no idea what I want?

One thing that was always there when I was growing up was that “anywhere but here” feeling. But where is that anywhere? When the time comes to define that, I’m going to have serious trouble! And if I manage to pinpoint a “there”, what am I going to be doing there? When asked the “what do you want to be when you grown up” question, I never gave the same answer twice. Over the years I wanted to be a maid (Seriously. When I was 4. But I wanted to get a college degree for it. My cousin G, the one I grew up with, wanted to get a degree as a shepherd.), an astronaut, Lara Croft, a dancer, an architect, a doctor, a journalist, an anthropologist, a computer animator, a scientist, a lawyer… Sure, as I grew older I managed to narrow it down to physics, but I still don’t know exactly what I want, do I want to do research, do I want to teach… so many choices… I’m so jealous of the lovely E, who has been saying she wants to be a doctor since she was 3 and now, at 25, she is doing her residency! I would love it if I could set a goal and work towards it instead of this Brown motion I’m doing…

My pro/con lists sure help me view things clearly and make decisions easier. (I used to be a bit embarrassed by all the pro/con lists I do, but then I met Gilmore girls and I thought that since they put list-making in a series I can’t possibly be the only person in the world doing this…) But shouldn’t I be able to figure out what I want without weighing pros and cons like it’s some sort of mathematical equation? (Which reminds me, I wanted to be a mathematician when I was 18, but university math kicked that dream right out of me…) Okay I think I’ll stop here because my mind is so scattered today the random thoughts in parentheses are more than the actual text…